How to Support Grieving Men

In honor of our Gloves for Grieving Men event hosted on 6/15/24, we want to share a beautiful resource tool created by our Director of Communication and Outreach Angel Frank in collaboration with Empty Arms.

Men are raised to be protectors, so many hide their emotions while grieving to avoid the stereotype of appearing weak when they’re sad, when they cry, or when they grieve. Some turn to unhealthy ways of coping, like alcohol or substance use, overworking, and other forms of self-protective mechanisms, which can be difficult for their partners to handle and cause a strain in relationships. To help alleviate some of these challenges, below are some ways you can support the men in your life who are going through grief:

🥊 Remind him it’s okay to feel emotions. Validate him when he opens up. Keep private whatever they share with you in confidence unless it is regarding thoughts of intent to harm themselves, in which case, seek professional attention immediately.

🥊 Encourage participation in activities and support groups. Understand that it is okay that they find others who they can relate to. Let them know that it is okay for them to find comfort from others who share the same experience, even if the support is not from you.

🥊 Communicate. Establish a way that is unique to both of you that gives each other grace when one is having a “griefy” day. This could be something as simple as turning the lamp on in one part of the house or using a safe word or phrase. You can be as creative or as simple as you want to be, as long as it is what works for both of you.

🥊 Ask open-ended questions. Continue to reassure him that you are there for him whenever he’s ready, even when he’s not ready to talk right now.

🥊 Understand the difference between men and women’s ways of coping with grief. Men may be more prone to appearing strong on the surface, which may feel like they are pushing you away. Encourage them to grieve in whatever feels natural for them without forcing discussion, and offer support when they’re ready.

🥊 Lastly create a safe space focused on acceptance. Remember there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Encourage him to share whatever emotions he may have without fear of judgement.

More grief support resources are available here and you’re always welcome to explore our upcoming events to connect with our community in person.