Broken but Beating: Heart Health in Times of Grief

Written By:
Marie Brandon, BSN, RN & Certified Grief Educator

Like many of you, I felt as though my heart literally broke into pieces when my son passed away. The pain wasn’t just emotional—it was physical.  I had chest pain, difficulty breathing, and heart palpitations on and off for months. You’ve likely heard the phrase, “They died from a broken heart.”  While it is rare to die from Broken Heart Syndrome, it is a real condition known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. Intense grief can cause the heart to temporarily enlarge and weaken, mimicking heart attack symptoms.

Why am I telling you this?  February is Heart Health Month—a time to raise awareness about cardiovascular wellness. Grief and stress can increase heart disease risk by causing elevated blood pressure, inflammation, and artery damage from stress hormones like cortisol. Protecting our hearts means caring for both our physical and emotional health.

So how do we take care of ourselves—mind, body, and soul—when our world has fallen apart?

Mindfulness  

Deep breathing and meditation
After loss, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming. Our nervous system remains in a heightened state, making even simple tasks exhausting. One technique that helps me when I’m overwhelmed is the 4-7-8 breathing method. Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale through your mouth for eight. This technique slows the heart rate and reduces cortisol levels, creating a moment of calm.  Bonus, it gives me 20 seconds to filter my thoughts before speaking!

Journaling
Writing about your emotions can help process grief and relieve stress. I had never kept a journal before my son passed. Now, I often feel overwhelmed by emotions and memories, searching for a way to process them. My solution? Voice-dictating my thoughts into my phone’s notes app. It’s quick and convenient.  Whether it’s a dream, a sign that reminds me of him, or my feelings in the moment, expressing them is a release. Writing doesn’t have to be structured, just let your feelings flow.

Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude can be challenging after a loss. How do we remain grateful when we’ve lost so much?  After loss, people have said, “At least you had time with him” or “At least you have other children.”  While well-intended, these comments can feel dismissive. Gratitude doesn’t minimize grief; it helps us find small moments of light. Start with naming one thing you’re grateful for every morning or listing a few before bed.

Body Association

Eating Heart-Healthy Meals: You’ve heard, “We are what we eat.” Food is our body’s fuel, and our diet profoundly affects heart health. Grief can take a toll on your appetite. In the weeks following my loss, I barely ate. When my appetite returned, I reached for processed, easy-to-grab foods instead of nutrient-rich options. Choosing heart-healthy options like salmon, nuts, avocados, leafy greens, and whole grains can reduce inflammation and regulate stress hormones.  It’s easier said than done, but small changes can have a big impact.

Physical Activity
Now hear me out. I’m not saying to go run a half marathon—unless that’s your thing. Exercise is probably the last thing on your mind when you’re grieving. Some days, just getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment. But movement doesn’t have to be intense to be effective. Walking, stretching, or light yoga can ease stress, release endorphins, and help your body process emotions. One outlet that has helped me is Gloves for Grief—a supportive space where movement and community come together. After each session, I feel lighter, less angry, and more connected. Find what works for you—whether it’s a slow stroll, dancing in your kitchen, or hitting a punching bag.

Connection for the Soul

Seek Support
Grief can be isolating. While friends and family may mean well, they may not always understand the depth of our loss. Therapy, grief support groups, or online communities can provide a safe space to share without judgment. You don’t have to do this alone.

Practice Self-Compassion
Give yourself permission to grieve without guilt. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can. We live in a grief-apologetic and grief- illiterate society. Showing emotion is often followed by the griever apologizing because society is uncomfortable and unsure how to handle your grief. I encourage you to find a person or a community like Gloves for Grief that will allow you to grieve without apologies.

Volunteer
Helping others can foster a sense of purpose and support emotional healing.  I never expected volunteering to be part of my healing journey, but becoming a One Legacy Ambassador and a Gloves for Grief board member has given my pain purpose. Sharing my son’s story and helping others through their grief have been deeply healing. If you’re struggling, consider honoring your loved one’s memory through service, creative expression, or simply sharing their story.

Moving Forward

Our community’s safety is our priority.  In honor of Heart Health Month, all Gloves for Grief board members are now CPR-certified, thanks to SureFire CPR. We have also obtained an AED for our wellness events, ensuring we’re prepared to care for both your emotional and physical hearts. You too can be prepared for the unexpected by becoming CPR certified at SureFire CPR.

Taking intentional steps to nurture both our emotional and physical heart health is crucial, especially in grief. This February let’s commit to caring for ourselves—mind, body, and soul.

Join us at our 2-year anniversary wellness event on February 22, 2025, to experience the power of community, movement, and healing. Find registration details for this event and all future events at glovesforgrief.org.