we provide a mind, body, & soul approach to support the grief community.  

Written By:
Marie Brandon, BSN, RN, Certified Grief Educator             

Pregnancy is often described as a time of joy, anticipation, and excitement. However, for those who have experienced pregnancy loss, embarking on another pregnancy can be a complex journey filled with conflicting emotions and a pregnancy void of joy. In honor of March being Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month, I invite you to learn from, find solidarity in, and gain inspiration from the stories of four remarkable women who have walked this path. I want to personally thank each of them for courageously sharing their raw, honest experiences with me — no two journeys being the same. From multiple losses, unexpected pregnancies, and moments of overwhelming fear and anxiety, to finding purpose and beauty in the ones on the way.

Say Their Names

Rocky
“There is a need for community. I had a need, and I knew I wasn’t the only one.”

— Belle Franco, Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Support Group, PAL@saddleback.com

Married for 17 years, Belle and her husband had spent many of those years trying to become parents. Belle was finally on her way to having the baby of her dreams in 2016. But at 31 weeks pregnant with her first child, Belle’s dream turned into a nightmare. For three days, doctors worked hard to delay the delivery, but her son Rocky, was born two months early.  Belle and her husband clung to hope as Rocky spent a month in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Then the unimaginable happened, Rocky died from heart failure. The weight of this loss was crushing, but Belle knew at her age, time was not on her side. In 2018, Belle and her husband decided to try again. Controlling what she had the power to, but also to prepare for the worst, Belle prayed about it, worked to get her body physically fit, and even toured the NICU at the new hospital. Like many women who experience pregnancy after loss, despite preparing, she was having difficulty with anxiety and fear the second time around. In desperate need of support, she reached out to the Empty Arms group that had held her up after Rocky’s death. Without a group specific to her situation, Belle soon realized her calling. Out of this need, Belle founded the PAL ministry, a support group where women navigating the complex feelings surrounding pregnancy after loss could find comfort, strength, and hope.  It was this group and Belle’s faith that carried her, when once again at 31 weeks she was hospitalized . For six weeks, confined to bedrest, while battling fear, clinging to faith, and holding on to the hope that this time would be different.  And it was. Her daughter Luna is now six years old. Through heartbreak and healing, Belle used her grief to build the very community she and so many other women need. A place where she guides them to embrace hope, allowing themselves the chance to feel joy again.

Mathew and Baby H
“Until you are ready to deal with another loss, you’re not ready to get pregnant again. Your desire has to overcome your fear.”

  — Karen Hacker, Empty Arms Support Group, emptyarms@saddleback.com

       Author of 8:28 Hope in the Darkness

It was the fall of 1989, Karen and Rick were in the prime of their lives, eagerly anticipating the arrival of their first child after two years of marriage. With no reason to expect anything unusual, Karen headed into her routine seven-month check-up. What followed was a whirlwind. After in-depth ultrasounds and multiple tests, doctors delivered devastating news—their precious baby boy had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and likely wouldn’t survive. Clinging to hope, Karen carried her son to term, praying he might be eligible for heart surgery or a transplant. It was the holiday season, and everywhere was filled with cheerful well-wishers, all too eager to ask—When are you due? Is this your first child? Knowing the condition of her baby, these well-meaning questions were heartbreaking for Karen to answer. The weight of them became too much to bear, leading her and her husband to retreat into the safety of their home. For the remaining two months, they surrounded themselves only with close friends and family, trying to make the best of her pregnancy despite the constant heaviness in her heart.

In January 1990, Karen gave birth to a beautiful boy.  Although he looked perfect on the outside, after many tests the doctors confirmed Karen’s worst fear — Mathew wasn’t a candidate for heart surgery and in fact he would need a heart and lung transplant that never came. Mathew lived for 2 days, immersed in his parent’s love.  Leaving the hospital without your baby is one of the hardest walks a parent could ever take. Unfortunately, Karen and Rick’s journey with loss didn’t end there. On what would have been Mathew’s first birthday, they received a glimmer of hope—Karen was pregnant again. It felt like a blessing from God on a day they had been dreading.

This gift of hope was short lived. At two months, Karen miscarried, shattering their dreams of a family once more.  Still, faith and hope endured. In 1992, their dream finally became a reality with the birth of their son, Ryan, followed by their daughter Avery, two years later.

As joyous as these births were, the early months were fraught with fear. The possibility of another loss—especially with the now doubled risk of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome—was nearly unbearable. Like many PAL parents, Karen and Rick decided to wait to share the news. Only after nearly five months, when the test results confirmed their baby’s heart was healthy, could Karen finally breathe. The decision to try again after not only one, but two devastating losses, is remarkably strong. Karen shared that she felt she could never experience joy again until she held another one of her babies in her arms. Her desire to have a baby overpowered her fear of another loss.

Aiko – Little Loved One
“To this day, it’s still the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life. I feel like I gave up on my baby.”

  — Amy Newton, BSN, RN – Neonatal ICU

As the mother of an 18-month-old, Amy knew the joys of pregnancy and motherhood. As a NICU nurse she also knew the heartbreaking reality that not every pregnancy ends with a healthy baby.

It was June of 2017, and Amy and her husband Ryan were at their first ultrasound appointment for her second pregnancy. The sonographer, once chatty, fell silent. Amy immediately sensed something was wrong. The sonographer then asked if they wanted to do a Non-Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT) to determine the baby’s gender. When Amy received the paperwork for the test, her heart sank. In the diagnostic box, one word was written: hydrops. She knew what that meant. She had cared for babies with hydrops in the NICU and knew the prognosis was grim. After two and a half weeks filled with consultations, a high-risk OB visit, ultrasounds, and the NIPT, Amy heard two words that stopped her world – Turner’s Syndrome. After additional ultrasounds and genetic testing Amy and Ryan learned their baby’s condition wasn’t due to genetic incompatibility. She was simply the one unlucky woman in 4,000 this could happen to. While positive news for any future pregnancies, it did nothing to calm their current fear. With a very sick baby, given the 1% chance of survival, and Amy’s increasing blood pressure, her doctor recommended termination.  Amy and Ryan prayed for guidance. At 15 weeks, they made the agonizing decision to sign the termination papers.

As a woman of faith, Amy wrestled with her decision. Her OB personally does not perform terminations due to her religious beliefs, but knowing Amy’s struggle, she made an exception. Even though baby Aiko’s heartbeat was not present on the day of termination, Amy still feels like she gave up on her baby the moment she signed those papers.

In the aftermath, grief consumed her. The hormonal imbalance from the D&E (Dilation and Evacuation) left her struggling both physically and emotionally. She turned to acupuncture in hopes of resetting her body, but it worked a little too well. Just three months after losing Aiko, Amy found herself pregnant again. She wasn’t ready. The weight of unresolved grief, fear, and the recent death of her grandmother made the next nine months nearly unbearable. Weekly ultrasounds and perinatal tests triggered her trauma, making it impossible to embrace the happiness of pregnancy. Despite her doctor’s reassurances, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the ultrasound images, to enjoy the baby’s kicks, to believe that this time might be different. Fear suffocated any space for joy. Amy’s biggest regret with her third pregnancy was not believing the doctors when they said everything was okay and not embracing the joy of what would be her last pregnancy. But how do you force yourself to feel joy when fear and grief are so overpowering? For Amy, the fear of another loss only subsided when she held Arya for the first time, born just nine days after the one-year anniversary of Aiko’s death. Now almost 7 years later, Amy spoke of her bond with Arya. “I feel like Arya is the closest to me. It’s like she knows.”  Proving true that the mother-child bond is a powerful one.

Baby A
“I told him [God] to please let this baby stay so I can hug her because I didn’t get to hug baby A.”

  — Baby A’s younger sibling

Pregnancy after loss is not just a journey of fear and anxiety for parents, it’s a complex and often painful experience for siblings as well. For a young child, losing an unborn, stillborn, or newborn sibling is often their first experience with death. This family never saw what was coming. There were no warning signs, no symptoms. At 15 weeks, what was meant to be a routine ultrasound turned into devastation—Baby A’s heartbeat was gone. A week that should have been filled with joy and celebration, marked by a gender reveal, instead became the week that changed their lives forever.

The months that followed did not bring the healing that Baby A’s mom so desperately needed. How do you even begin to heal when your own body refuses to let you forget?  The contractions. The heavy bleeding. The emptiness. With the help of the Empty Arms Support Group and working to get in a physically and mentally good place, Baby A’s mom was willing to take the chance of another loss to feel the joy of another baby. This new pregnancy, though precious, is shadowed by triggers—every illness, every doctor’s appointment, every date tied to the past ignited fresh waves of anxiety. Like so many PAL mothers, she hesitated to share the news, waiting longer to announce it to some and not sharing it at all with others. Grief is a deeply personal journey, and so is the way one navigates the fragile hope of carrying life again. But it’s not only the mother’s fear and anxiety that is manifesting in new ways, so are the father’s and sibling’s. Their love for this new baby on the way is intertwined with anxiously noticing every small change, questioning doctors and medications, hesitating to bond too soon, and questioning if this baby is going to change how baby A is remembered. Now in her third trimester, this mother is holding onto the moments of joy she can find. With the support of her PAL group and her faith in God’s plan, she takes each day as it comes. Starting every morning with this simple but effective prayer, “Lord, please get into my heart and my brain first before I do.”

PTSD: Moving Through the Triggers

The challenges following the loss of a pregnancy or the death of an infant extend far beyond physical healing. Returning to work, you’re met with the well-meaning but painful questions from co-workers asking about your baby.  What they assumed was maternity leave was, in reality, time spent navigating the fog of grief, planning a funeral, and saying goodbye to your baby. Or perhaps you return to a job where you find yourself caring for an infant with the same fatal condition as the one you lost—now walking that mother through the darkest day of her life. 

As you find your desire to have a baby grows stronger than your fear of another loss, you may find yourself ready to try again. But the triggers will come, numerous and unexpected.  Ultrasounds, endless tests, parallel events, and familiar dates will serve as a reminder of what was lost.  And the pain doesn’t always fade after the arrival of a healthy baby. As time passes, the intensity of the triggers may lessen, but the body remembers. The shift in mood as the anniversary of your loss nears, the sadness that lingers in your heart. All the while , you try to remain grateful for the rainbow baby who came after.  Or maybe for you, your next baby isn’t a rainbow baby. They are a completely different pregnancy, their own separate sunshine. For a rainbow to appear, the storm must have ended. But for many who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss, the storm never fully passes because grief never fully ends. And for those still waiting for a healthy pregnancy, the journey feels even longer, the storm unrelenting.

This is when we must learn to let grief and joy coexist. As grievers, it’s a difficult concept to embrace. The guilt of feeling even a moment of joy can be overwhelming.  It is undoubtably difficult to find joy in a pregnancy after a loss. The naivety of a carefree journey may be gone, but with support and hope, it can still be filled with moments of joy.

Preparing for Your Next Pregnancy

Where do we find support? I wish I could provide a one-size-fits-all answer. Just as no two people grieve alike, not all grievers respond to the same support. When planning to become pregnant again after loss, consider these steps to support your journey:

1. Find a PAL (Pregnancy After Loss) group in your area early on to establish a foundation of support.

2. Reflect on your faith. Loss can shake beliefs and understanding where you and your partner stand can provide comfort.

3. Protect your peace. Don’t feel pressured to announce your pregnancy before you are ready.

4. Practice mindfulness to reduce anxiety and regulate emotions through grounding techniques like breathing exercises or journaling.

5. Control what you can. Pregnancy has unpredictable moments, focus on what is within your power and let go of what isn’t.

6. Break your pregnancy into milestones to stay present and manage overwhelming emotions.

7. Ask for what you need. If ultrasounds are triggering, bring a support person with you and communicate openly with your medical team about your fears.

8. Prepare for upsetting questions, such as “Is this your first child?” by deciding in advance how you want to respond.

9. Take the pressure off nesting.  If past loss makes preparing a nursery difficult, focus only on necessities and consider a baby sprinkle after birth as opposed to a shower during pregnancy.

10. Accept your feelings without justification. Whatever you feel is valid, and you don’t need to explain it to anyone.

11. Support each other. Not everyone grieves the same way or for the same amount of time. Acknowledge each other’s differences and approaches.

12. You can continue to honor your loss while making room for this baby.

If you have experienced pregnancy after loss (PAL), I hope these stories remind you that you are not alone. And if you are contemplating another pregnancy, may these stories offer you hope, reassurance, and the guidance to welcome joy into your journey ahead.

“Joy in the present does not diminish the love we have for the one we lost.” 

     — xo, Marie

   

We are honored to announce that Gloves For Grief will have a booth at the OneLegacy Donate Life Run/Walk 2025 on Saturday, April 26, 2025! This powerful event brings together thousands of individuals to honor organ, eye, and tissue donors, celebrate transplant recipients, and inspire hope for those still waiting.

Walk With Us to Honor the Ultimate Gift

Every step we take on April 26th is in remembrance of those who gave the ultimate gift of life through organ donation. Their legacy lives on in the hearts of those they’ve touched, and this event is a beautiful way to come together in gratitude, remembrance, and hope.

As a nonprofit that supports those navigating grief, Gloves For Grief understands the profound impact of loss and the healing power of community. We invite you to walk alongside us as we honor these incredible donors and stand with the families who carry their love forward.

Visit Our Booth

Stop by our booth to:
✅ Share your loved one’s story – We welcome you to write a dedication or memory to add to our tribute.
✅ Learn about our grief support initiatives – Discover our holistic approach to healing through events like Box & Breathe Wellness, grief workshops, and more.
✅ Find comfort and connection – Whether you are grieving a loss, supporting a donor family, or simply want to honor a loved one, our community is here for you.

Be Part of This Meaningful Day

This event is about remembrance, resilience, and renewal. Whether you walk in honor of a loved one, a donor hero, or simply to support the cause, your presence makes a difference.

💙 Join us on April 26, 2025, at the OneLegacy Donate Life Run/Walk! Together, we remember. Together, we walk. Together, we honor the gift of life.

📍 Location: Azusa, CA
📅 Date: Saturday, April 26, 2025
🔗 Register & learn more: Registration Link

We can’t wait to see you there! 💙🏃‍♂️💚

We are deeply honored to be a sponsor and have a booth at the Bradley Rofer Honor Walk this April, a profoundly meaningful event that celebrates the beautiful children who will forever remain in our hearts.

Join us on April 27th as we come together to honor organ donors like sweet Bradley Rofer, whose legacy continues to touch lives.

The Legacy of Bradley Rofer

At just six years old, Bradley founded Bradley’s Beautiful Bouquets, a heartfelt initiative that raised thousands of dollars to support sick children in his community. His kindness and generosity embodied the purest form of love and giving. Tragically, at the age of eight, Bradley was struck by a vehicle, leaving behind a community forever changed by his spirit. Today, the Bradley Rofer Foundation continues his mission, ensuring that his compassion and dedication live on.

What is an Honor Walk?

An Honor Walk is a powerful tribute held as a donor patient is transferred from their hospital room to the operating room, surrounded by love, gratitude, and remembrance. This year, the Bradley Rofer Foundation is creating a Memory Wall, a special space to honor and celebrate the lives of children—of all ages—who are forever in our hearts.

How You Can Participate

Families who wish to honor a child can submit a photo and name dedication to glovesforgrief@gmail.com, and we will ensure it reaches the Foundation’s team. No child is too young to be remembered, including those we never had the chance to meet. If you do not have a photo, a meaningful graphic can also be used. With your submission please include their Date of Birth, Date of Passing, and one line dedication (if you are comfortable)

Join Us in Celebration and Remembrance

This free community event in Rancho Santa Margarita (RSM) is a beautiful opportunity to come together, walk in remembrance, and celebrate the laughter, dreams, and love that continue to fill our hearts.

We hope to see you there as we walk in honor, love, and remembrance. Click HERE for more details and registration information

Written By: Marie Brandon, BSN, RN, Certified Grief Educator

The Culmination of 2 Years of Blood, Sweat, and Tears

On February 22, 2025, Gloves for Grief reached a major milestone—our 2-year anniversary!

We were blessed to have over 50 attendees join us, showing up not only for us but for themselves. To commemorate the occasion, we enhanced our signature Box and Breathe event with meaningful moments and special mementos. The afternoon began with a heartfelt message from our co-founder and president, Terra, followed by a mindfulness moment and soul connection exercise, before transitioning into the body segment with boxing. As always, we closed with prayer and speaking our loved one’s names, but this time, we marked the milestone with a beautiful candlelight ceremony. With the lights dimmed low, every attendee was invited to speak their loved one’s name and place a tealight upon our remembrance table. The ceremony commenced with Karen reading her poem Today —a poignant reminder to give ourselves grace, forgiveness, and permission to continue living a meaningful and significant life, while carrying our loved ones with us. With the weight of grief a little lighter, we moved into the refreshment and community segment of our event —one of the most cherished aspects of Gloves for Grief. Here, attendees connected sharing stories with each other—not just about how our loved ones died, but how they lived and impacted our lives. In addition to heartfelt conversations and delicious refreshments, guests left with gift bags, journals for self-expression, and a signed copy of Karen Badal Hacker’s book 8:28-Hope In The Darkness.

Here are a few more highlights from our event:

As we celebrate how far we’ve come, I invite you to join me as we take a look back at our humble beginnings.

How It All Began

Co-founders Terra Pickett and Ashley Guarrasi met through Empty Arms, a support group for individuals and families grieving the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, still birth, and infant death. Inspired by a deep desire to transform their pain into purpose, Terra felt a calling to create something meaningful to support others navigating grief. With their shared pain of infant loss, a passion to help others, and Ashley’s decade of boxing expertise, Gloves for Grief was born. What started as a small gathering of just 7 attendees at the first Box and Breathe event on February 7, 2023, has grown beyond anything we could have imagined.

The Core of Our Mission: Our Box & Breathe Wellness Events

Grief is a journey that looks different for everyone, but one thing remains true—it demands to be felt. One of the many feelings experienced during grief is anger.  While it’s commonly recognized as the second stage of grief, we know that grief isn’t linear. It ebbs and flows, and anger can resurface when you least expect it. That’s where we come in.

From the very beginning, healing through movement has been at the core of our mission. I’ve been involved with G4G since November 11, 2023, and I’ve learned firsthand that sometimes the only way to release anger about my son’s death is to punch it out. It’s been incredible to witness so many of you embrace healing through movement at our Box & Breathe events.

In just two years, Gloves for Grief has become an official 501(c)(3) nonprofit, hosted 12 public Box and Breathe events, 2 private events, and traveled twice to Porterville to host the annual Fallen Firefighters Memorial Event.  We’ve traveled more than 500 miles, supported over 1,000 grieving individuals, held an art grief workshop, and launched our first 6-week Grief Through the Holidays program. We were able to purchase 25 personalized punching bags through generous donations and have been recognized by the City of Mission Viejo for our work in the community.

But we’re not stopping here. Our mission is expanding—reaching schools, at-risk youth communities, and forming partnerships with like-minded nonprofits to extend our impact even further. As we continue to grow, let’s take a moment to reflect on some of our most memorable wellness events—moments that remind us why we do this and the strength we’ve found in this community.

A Look Back on a Year of Healing, Strength, and Connection

On February 17, 2024, we reached a significant milestone, mobilizing our team and punching bags to travel 200 miles north to Porterville for the first annual Fallen Firefighters Memorial Event. This special gathering honored Patrick Jones, Ray Figueroa, Damien Pereira and all fallen firefighters, bringing their families, friends, and community together in remembrance and resilience.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be especially difficult for those who have lost a child or a parent. Last June, we held our first Father’s Day Box and Breathe event, recognizing the importance of creating a safe space for men to grieve and feel supported. The turnout was incredible, reinforcing the need for these spaces of brotherhood and fellowship.

Last August, we had the privilege of hosting a private wellness event for The Shea Center in memory of their beloved equine specialist and friend, Heidi. The Shea Center, a fellow nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization in San Juan Capistrano, CA, provides equine assisted services to individuals addressing over 85 physical, emotional, social, and cognitive challenges. It was an honor to contribute to their healing journey.

To close out the summer, we organized a two-day Box and Breathe event at the Samueli Academy in collaboration with The Orangewood Foundation. The first evening was a private event for the Samueli Academy students, including fostered youth that attend and are housed at the academy. The following day, they opened their doors again to the community for a second Box and Breathe event.

In October, we took our Box and Breathe event out for the night, joining Enerji Under the Stars and Project Eli for a special evening featured barre instruction, boxing, pickleball, dancing, and great food.  This early Halloween celebration was a powerful reminder that healing happens in community.

The holiday season can be particularly difficult for those who are grieving, including children. While we welcome kids at all our events, last December we hosted our first kid’s only event, Jingle Bell Jab. Thanks to the generosity of Rudy’s Christmas Trees, we created a special festive, supportive space for children navigating loss during the holidays.

These 6 special events were in addition to our regularly scheduled Box and Breathe community events. Together, we are more than boxing—we are a movement of healing, strength, and connection.

Connecting Beyond Boxing

While Box and Breathe remains at the heart of our mission, we are committed to providing year-round support for the mind and soul, not just the body. Through workshops and community collaborations, we continue to create spaces of healing and connection.

In December 2023, we hosted our first therapeutic art workshop, where 20 attendees created keepsake ornaments in honor of their loved ones.

July brought a fun-filled day with The Angels. We had a day of community including tailgating, food, music, games, running the bases and of course—baseball.

During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month in September, we joined the OCAPICA Made for All K-Pop event, providing support and resources for those struggling with mental health challenges related to grief.

As October brought cooler temperatures, we joined Forever Footprints at the OC Walk to Remember. A cause close to our hearts, Forever Footprints supports families who have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss. The annual Walk to Remember provides families and friends a day of remembrance and the opportunity to walk the steps their babies will never take. We were honored to stand alongside grieving families and offer additional support and resources.

The holidays often bring heightened emotions of grief, which is why in November of 2024, we expanded our art workshop from the previous year into our  first-ever six-week grief workshop, Holding Your Hands Through the Holidays. Meeting once a week, we created a space filled with community, activities, and shared understanding to help navigate this challenging season. These workshops are just the beginning of providing long-term grief support to all who need it.

Community Strength and Gratitude

When we first started, we didn’t even own a single pair of gloves. Today, thanks to the generosity of our incredible partners, we own all our equipment. This is a game-changer. While we are based in Orange County, CA,  grief knows no geographical boundaries.  Owning 25 punching bags allows us to mobilize and bring healing wherever it’s needed most.

G4G wants to extend a heartfelt thank you to our corporate bag sponsors: BBSI, First Pacific Bank, Apriem Cares, Colab Space, Genesis Bank, and NPT. As well as our personal bag sponsors: Rob & Brinda Guarrasi, Jeff and Candy Mack, Brenda Crawford, Ray Bacchus, Cindy Wilbur, Marie Brandon, Ashley Adelizi, Rick and Karen Hacker (on behalf of Empty Arms and 8:28/ Hope in the Darkness), Charlene Geselowitz, and many others.

Your belief in our mission keeps us moving forward, and we are endlessly grateful for your support.

June 2024 was a month of recognition and blessings for our organization. Our founder and President, Terra, was honored with the Resilience Award and recognized as an Inspirational Member by the Mission Viejo Chamber of Commerce for her dedication to this cause. G4G was also the recipient of the Healthy Living grant from City of Hope, further affirming the impact of our work. These honors are not just for Terra; they are for all of us — the resilience, courage, and love that each of you brings to this community.

Here’s How You Can Help

We can’t do this without you.  As we prepare for another year of impact, we need your ongoing support to continue building this community and expanding our reach.

Here’s how you can make a lasting difference:

• Join our monthly giving community: While we now own our equipment, there are still many expenses. Your ongoing support ensures that we can transport our equipment and provide Box and Breathe events, host healing workshops, and provide grief resources year-round.
• Stay involved: Attend our events, share your story, and invite others to join this space of healing.
• Volunteer: Your time, love, and energy are what truly make this community thrive. There is always an opportunity to help at one of our events. We would love to welcome you into our family.

This organization, born out of loss, has become a gift of light, love, and hope to so many.

Together we will continue to shine a light in the darkest of times.

Thank you for being a part of this incredible journey. We look forward to all that’s to come in 2025.